A KALEIDOSCOPE CALLED 'LIFE'

It was just another afternoon. My maid was finishing up her chores.

She is a strong woman, worked all her life,
struggled to make a living, to make ends meet,
2 sons and a daughter, her husband a alchoholic,
Every single morning, with a smile she does greet.

I was going to visit my mother's place. I step out of my house and walk down to catch an auto rickshaw. As always I cross the market, busy as always, to get to the main road.
The place is buzzing with activity, sellers, buyers bargaining, moms dragging kids and their shopping, kids returning from school, cyclists and much more. But one person stands out in all this chaos.

Sitting on a gunny bag, a scrawny old woman,
Selling sad looking lemons, very few I must say,
Munching a little something, trying to sell her wares,
Trying to make a living, braving the sun everyday.

I then get into the auto rickshaw, the regular chap. He chats as we move along.

He is so cheerful, and works very hard,
About cost of educating kids he talks, and petrol prices,
He had two kids, lost one to the tsunami,
We have to get past the past, whatever the crisis.

I stop by at the tailor's shop. It is a small one room shop with 2 people on sewing machines on one side, a table on the other, one sits on the floor stitching buttons. I talk to my tailor who stands by the table, cutting material.

Here is a man, old enough to be my grandfather,
Is compelled to work at this age, not a day of rest,
He has no vision in one eye, the other is a blur,
He smiles at me as I leave, I feel a knot in my chest.

We stop at a signal. A little boy approaches me with some coloring books and begs me to buy a few.

He runs and stops cars, and pleads to sell his wares,
A small little boy, he is no more than ten,
My heart goes out to him, I buy a few from him,
He ought to be in school, not standing in the sun.

As I reach home I see my grandfather sitting in the living room, reading...as always. My grandmother hobbles in and asks me the same question she asks me every single time i visit...what will you eat?

I see my grandfather, he battled cancer at 75,
A surgery he had, chemo and radiation he survived,
he is now 85 and earning, a self employed consultant,
Been married for 62 years, on strength of family he thrived.

My husband calls, to ask if i reached safely.

He works in IT, they dont have office hours,
He is stuck his laptop, it does not matter night or day,
Strives to succeed, to keep his family happy,
he is a self made man, what else do I say.

Life's lessons are numerous. Some we see, some we see through others eyes. I look around and see different people and their lives, like a kaleidoscope the colours are similar but patterns different, everytime it turns around.

I learnt to appreciate what I have,
I learnt not to take things for granted,
I learnt to take life as it comes,
I learnt to thank god for my health and happiness,
I learnt to empathise, to be productive and to spread happiness,
I learnt to live.

I am sharing what 'I Saw and I Learnt' at BlogAdda.com in association with DoRight.in.

This post is the winner of a contest :)

MOM N ME

Mom's are a gift,
on a 24*7 shift,
From the moment I was born,
Her sleep was all gone.

I look at her face,
All lit up and happy,
She is patience personified,
Hardly ever snappy.

She works all day,
And holds me through the night,
Chases me around,
Never lets me out of sight.

She taught me the ABC's,
And loads and loads of rhymes,
School projects and exams,
Those were amazing times.

I then had a little brother,
I thought about me she would'nt care,
But she loved me even more,
And taught me how to share.

She taught me to respect,
And stand up for myself,
To empathise with people,
And to heal thyself.

She always defends me,
Says "you are the best",
Focus on what you do,
Let go of all the rest.

Her time, her effort,
The beat of her heart,
All for me and my brother,
Right from the start.

"I love you mom"...I never said that enough!
Have taken you for granted,
Should have said it every day,
Not wait for mother's day.

Now I am a mother,
I feel what you feel,
You are my greatest inspiration,
Before you I kneel.

A DICTIONARY OF ALTERNATE MEANINGS

I am a simpleton. A nitwit. A nincompoop.

 

I understand simple language. I understand only one meaning. The meaning the words convey. My mind was preset at birth to believe everything on the face of it. Evidently I am grossly mistaken.  The meaning of the words conveyed depends on the context, intention, tone and tenor with which it is conveyed. It is upto the listener to comprehend the meaning keeping in mind a few "evident" factors like the mood, state of mind, sarcasm quotient, relation with the listener, need to convey the unspeakable, need to ask the un"askable",  the need to be polite and the need not to hurt.  There are ofcourse a little over zillion other things that I could include that I am unable to comprehensively list.

 

A simple "sure, go ahead" with a hesitant note in the voice and no expression, could mean..."go on, do what you want, as if it matters what I say, why ask me when you have already made up your mind, dont come back to me when things go wrong, I dont think you are going to do it anyway, its your choice not mine".

 

But it could also mean, "am sure you thought through it, am glad you made your own decision, am happy for you but still not convinced, what matters is that you do what makes you happy, I am not with you on your decision but whatever happens I got your back".

 

wierd huh?

 

If someone says, "You guys go on ahead without me, I already have other plans",...why cant it mean just that?  Instead it probably means, "you will anyway call me if I am important to you, go on...ask me once more, if you ask me enough times I can still make it, can you actually leave me and go!".  The same person will probably make sure you hear them saying to someone else "I was not invited, how could I go?"

 

Lets say you are in charge of inviting people for something, the list made by someone else who is postponing mentioning certain people, inviting whom are mandatory, by saying stuff like "let me get back to you, just wait a bit, I will call them(and does not)"; probably will say, right in front of the same person, "you did not invite them?".!!!

 

So now who looks like a chicken who walked into a barbeque because it was invited by the cook???

 

And so I learn. And pray.

 

God please...A DICTIONARY OF ALTERNATE MEANINGS would be such a blessing!

DEATH AT A FUNERAL

I went to a funeral. I saw death.

 

I dont remember how young I was when I attended that funeral.  But I do remember vividly the face of the young widow with two small kids, who, at the moment was faced with the biggest crisis of her life.

 

There are no words to comfort, no means to explain the tragedy, no way to ease the pain.

 

But I see nothing done to make things easy for her. There are visitors by the dozen asking the very same question she is asking herself over and over in her mind...how did this happen?

 

The incident is talked about, dissected, contorted and broadcasted, just like that live news channel that goes on and on about the same bit of news for days together. 

 

In the background is loud wailing and crying, amidst figuring out if it was the girl's past life sins or her horoscope or just her luck that is the cause of the horror she is going through.

 

As her mind is numbed with the pain of the loss of the love of her life, the fear for the future of her children and the comprehension of the strength she is going to need....she is dragged

unwillingly to see the face of her husband one last time.

 

I went to a funeral. I saw death. Death of humanity.

Block and Tackle

"Life is all about forgiving and forgetting. Forgiving the ones who are worth it...and Forgetting the ones who aren't"

 

To forgive is divine, to forget means one has amnesia.

 

Lets go step by step. To err is human...fine. To forgive is divine...yup!! its tough to forgive.

 

You can forgive a person for stamping your leg. You can forgive a person for forgetting your birthday. You can forgive a person for being late.  You can forgive a person for losing something unimportant.  You can forgive a person for a silly lie.  You can forgive a person for forgetting to call.  You can forgive people for a million simple things.

 

Can you forgive a person for making your life miserable?  Can you forgive a person for ruining your career?  Can you forgive a person for taking away your loved ones?  Can you forgive a person for losing all your life savings? Can you forgive a person for ruining a relationship?  Can you forgive a person whose lies have messed up your life?  Can you forgive a person for backstabbing you?  Can you forgive a person for not standing by you at the time  you needed them the most?

 

The ability to forgive depends upon the nature and magnitude of the action; and most importantly our relation with the person who is involved in it.

 

Well, gracious as we all are...we are prepared to move on. If not out of will or choice, its because of compulsion to.

 

To forgive is like deleting a file and sending it to the recycle bin. To forget is to clear the recycle bin forever and taking it out of physical memory.

 

Is that even possible?  The human memory amazingly remembers everything. Both short and long term. We use the simplest of ways to defend ourselves against the worst of memories, blocking it out!! Supression :conscious choice not to indulge a particular thought, feeling, or action; and ; Repression : a thought or feeling or emotion is not expressed, but we deny that the element even exists. 

 

As we try to manipulate our memories and move on, things and people around us remain constant. And just like how we remember the answers in an examination, like an acronym or a key word, in real life there are triggers. People, actions, statements of a conversation, a place, brings back what we try to supress.

 

Contemplating revenge? The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life. If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your energy will attract more positive people and positive results. As Albert Einstein said, "You can't solve a problem by staying in the same energy in which it was created." (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/8-Ways-to-Forgive-and-Forget/2)

 

It is purely conviction and the strength of the human mind, that help's us tackle situations and move past the past. Adopting a "student not victim" mentality does help a lot. 

 

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
     -William James(January 11, 1842 – August 26, 1910) an American philosopher and psychologist

 

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."
     -Brian Tracey(born January 5, 1944) is a motivational speaker and author.

 

A bit of selfishness here will go a long way. Lets just take care of our lives first. Only if we are in good health...both mental and physical, will we be of any use to anyone else.

JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS!

The alarm went off,
I slept through it though,
I wake up with a start,
I'm late..go go go!

        My schedule is ruined,
        And a number of things,
        I rush through my bath,
        And the door bell rings.

               The routine then starts,
               The milkman & the newspaper,
               The garbage collecter,
               And finally the sweeper.

Phew! its a mess, its all out of place,
Trying my patience, its just one of those days.

I answer the door,
The milk boils over,
To get through this day,
I need a four leaf clover.

        The kitchen's a mess,
        Cause I drop an egg,
        I clean it and turn,
        And I twist my leg.

               I turn on the motor,
               And then the heater,
               Power cut's at eight,
              Things just get sweeter.

Phew! its a mess, its all out of place,
Trying my patience, its just one of those days.

Cooking then starts,
Breakfast is done,
Then on to lunch,
Thankgod, damage is none.

        My little one calls,
        I drop everything,
        Try to put her back to sleep,
        And my cell phone rings!!

               "AC service ma'am,
              Can we come today?"
               Its a week since is called,
              Cant send them away.

Phew! its a mess, its all out of place,
Trying my patience, its just one of those days.

Bath and breakfast,
For my little one,
The best time of the day!!
second to none.

       I leave her to play,
       I order some fish,
       Hope my maid's on time,
       Yeah...I wish.

               I answer a few calls,
              Sign for a courier,
              And get back to cooking,
              The more the merrier.

Phew! its a mess, its all out of place,
Trying my patience, its just one of those days.

Facebook is calling,
And so is Whats app,
Friends and family,
you cant ignore that!!

        Chicken in the oven,
        On the stove is rice and curry,
        The cylinder gets empty,
        And I am in a hurry..

                I change the cylinder,
                Order a new one,
                Maid is finally here,
                Blames the scorching sun.

Phew! its a mess, its all out of place,
Trying my patience, its just one of those days.

Lunch is done,
My little one is sleeping,
I put up legs to rest,
Maid starts housekeeping.

        AC service, Fish delivery,
        Then paying bills online,
        And door to door salesmen,
        That's just the outline.

               I hobble about, banging an elbow,
               Stubbing a toe,
               Cursing under my breath,
               I go with the flow.

Phew! its a mess, its all out of place,
Trying my patience, its just one of those days.

My little one's up,
We read and play,
A little breather,
Towards the end of the day!

        Then on to dinner,
        And clearing up toys,
        Sleep time for my little one,
        We make lots of noise.

               All doors locked,
               All tucked in bed,
               I set the alarm,
               In the clock and in my head.

Tired and weary,
My husband asks, "how was your day?",
"Nothing out of the ordinary",
"Usual", I say.

I chuckle to myself,
What do I say?,
Better get some sleep,
Tomorrow is another day :)




 

P2AP3 - What they say 1.1.2 - Need to know a bit more

Human needs according to Maslow are five : physiological, safety and security, love and belongingness, self esteem and self actualisation.  On the satisfaction of one need the next arises, in the above order. Or so it was....

 

Hmm...where were we?..ah yes...the current scenario.  

 

1.Most kids or rather most of the current generation have their basic needs/physiological needs satisfied by their parents. There  are always the haves and have not's. But these days its not only  about food, clothing or shelter. Its about better or the best food, clothing and shelter. Comparison with peers, esteem needs?

 

2.Education has become more than a necessity. Even though it is still not affordable for some humans, many go for educational loans to  study in premium institutions and even go abroad for the same. While a few lucky ones have their parents pay for it. It is a matter of pride where one's children are studying, be it just a school or higher education. Esteem needs again?

 

3. Children attend an array of classes; dance(both classical and otherwise), singing, instrumental, karate, sports, etc and to top it all tutions for school lessons. The need to excel and stand out among others?

 

4. Health has also become a priority. Air and water are polluted. Humans buy water and water purifiers for safety. Eventhough the popularity and demand for fast food, areated drinks, home delivery of food, instant mixes(even biryani is instant) is growing, so is the demand for sugar free, fat free, diet snacks and diet foods.  Yoga classes and the gym are quite in demand these days.

 

5.For the purpose employment and a brighter future, humans shifed to many parts of different countries across the world. Away from their immediate families and friends, to new friends and new culture.  But they still hold on to their roots, their children still learn classical dance and music, they still celebrate festivals traditional style.

 

6. While some humans have started showing interest in meditation, yoga, life courses, dance, music, photography, art(in numerous forms) etc.. others have taken up causes and do their bit to help the society. Working to save the planet, groups against animal cruelty, women help organisations and many more. Ecotourism is gaining popularity. self actualisation?

 

7. Humans left joint families so that they can be independant. And then they search and invest in properties called "Gated communities", where all facilites like banking services, school, grocery store, gym, parks etc are available. A kind of self sufficient functional community. Isnt this what the humans moved out of...in the first place? have they come one full circle? are they going back to where they started?

 

8. Social networking has gained popularity. With facebook, twitter, Whats app, viber and other applications that can be accessed on the phone...keeping in touch with friends and family all over the world has become easy. Humans are trying harder that ever to keep together, while physical distances seperate them.

 

There is so much more that can be said...but I have to stop somewhere. Where are the humans headed? what are they looking for?

 

On one side there are still people who are struggling for their basic needs. On the other hand there are others who have so many choices that their needs are not needs anymore...they are "wants".  So when one need is satisfied(as maslow said), the next may arise, but the one that is satisfied becomes a want.

 

Evidently the need to prove oneself, to identify one's place in their own world, to feel wanted, to identify ones capabilities, to give back or contribute; is growing. The humans are, i guess, on a path of self-discovery.  To be "Accepted, Acknowledged and Appreciated", be it by others or oneself, is right now on top of the list. 

 

And where its needed the most are in relationships, any kind, but that's another topic altogether.