A DICTIONARY OF ALTERNATE MEANINGS

I am a simpleton. A nitwit. A nincompoop.

 

I understand simple language. I understand only one meaning. The meaning the words convey. My mind was preset at birth to believe everything on the face of it. Evidently I am grossly mistaken.  The meaning of the words conveyed depends on the context, intention, tone and tenor with which it is conveyed. It is upto the listener to comprehend the meaning keeping in mind a few "evident" factors like the mood, state of mind, sarcasm quotient, relation with the listener, need to convey the unspeakable, need to ask the un"askable",  the need to be polite and the need not to hurt.  There are ofcourse a little over zillion other things that I could include that I am unable to comprehensively list.

 

A simple "sure, go ahead" with a hesitant note in the voice and no expression, could mean..."go on, do what you want, as if it matters what I say, why ask me when you have already made up your mind, dont come back to me when things go wrong, I dont think you are going to do it anyway, its your choice not mine".

 

But it could also mean, "am sure you thought through it, am glad you made your own decision, am happy for you but still not convinced, what matters is that you do what makes you happy, I am not with you on your decision but whatever happens I got your back".

 

wierd huh?

 

If someone says, "You guys go on ahead without me, I already have other plans",...why cant it mean just that?  Instead it probably means, "you will anyway call me if I am important to you, go on...ask me once more, if you ask me enough times I can still make it, can you actually leave me and go!".  The same person will probably make sure you hear them saying to someone else "I was not invited, how could I go?"

 

Lets say you are in charge of inviting people for something, the list made by someone else who is postponing mentioning certain people, inviting whom are mandatory, by saying stuff like "let me get back to you, just wait a bit, I will call them(and does not)"; probably will say, right in front of the same person, "you did not invite them?".!!!

 

So now who looks like a chicken who walked into a barbeque because it was invited by the cook???

 

And so I learn. And pray.

 

God please...A DICTIONARY OF ALTERNATE MEANINGS would be such a blessing!