Thursday, June 20, 2013

Block and Tackle

"Life is all about forgiving and forgetting. Forgiving the ones who are worth it...and Forgetting the ones who aren't"
To forgive is divine, to forget means one has amnesia.
Lets go step by step. To err is human...fine. To forgive is divine...yup!! its tough to forgive.
You can forgive a person for stamping your leg. You can forgive a person for forgetting your birthday. You can forgive a person for being late.  You can forgive a person for losing something unimportant.  You can forgive a person for a silly lie.  You can forgive a person for forgetting to call.  You can forgive people for a million simple things.
Can you forgive a person for making your life miserable?  Can you forgive a person for ruining your career?  Can you forgive a person for taking away your loved ones?  Can you forgive a person for losing all your life savings? Can you forgive a person for ruining a relationship?  Can you forgive a person whose lies have messed up your life?  Can you forgive a person for backstabbing you?  Can you forgive a person for not standing by you at the time  you needed them the most?
The ability to forgive depends upon the nature and magnitude of the action; and most importantly our relation with the person who is involved in it.
Well, gracious as we all are...we are prepared to move on. If not out of will or choice, its because of compulsion to.
To forgive is like deleting a file and sending it to the recycle bin. To forget is to clear the recycle bin forever and taking it out of physical memory.
Is that even possible?  The human memory amazingly remembers everything. Both short and long term. We use the simplest of ways to defend ourselves against the worst of memories, blocking it out!! Supression :conscious choice not to indulge a particular thought, feeling, or action; and ; Repression : a thought or feeling or emotion is not expressed, but we deny that the element even exists. 
As we try to manipulate our memories and move on, things and people around us remain constant. And just like how we remember the answers in an examination, like an acronym or a key word, in real life there are triggers. People, actions, statements of a conversation, a place, brings back what we try to supress.
Contemplating revenge? The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life. If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your energy will attract more positive people and positive results. As Albert Einstein said, "You can't solve a problem by staying in the same energy in which it was created." (
It is purely conviction and the strength of the human mind, that help's us tackle situations and move past the past. Adopting a "student not victim" mentality does help a lot. 
"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
     -William James(January 11, 1842 – August 26, 1910) an American philosopher and psychologist
"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."
     -Brian Tracey(born January 5, 1944) is a motivational speaker and author.
A bit of selfishness here will go a long way. Lets just take care of our lives first. Only if we are in good health...both mental and physical, will we be of any use to anyone else.


  1. With my son having a photographic memory, and my never-know-when-it-is-in-order kind of memory, sometimes, i sincerely wish he would forget a few nasty memories acquired without taunting me with it :)

  2. Thanks a bunch for this post. It was much needed. I'll try and put this to good use. :)