Monday, April 22, 2013


A mother's love is instinctual, unconditional, and forever. - unknown
Duh!! as if one did not know that.. the question is...when does it actually happen? happen is probably a wrong word...hmmm..what does this "mother's love" feel like? when do you start to feel it? is it like love at first sight? is it when we see that first little blip of a heart beat on the first scan? is it when we first feel that tiny flutter of a movement? is it when we see for the first time the entire baby on the 8 month scan where you can actually make out his/her features...and you debate who he/she looks like? is it in the labour room when you see him/her for the first time?
Well, to me it took time...makes me wonder if i am alone in this or it happens to many? i did with great excitement go through all the phases i have mentioned above. One would think that when you get to meet someone who has been a part of you (literally!!) ...for the first time, would be more than a blur.
I have never understood how they potray childbirth in movies. A lot of screaming, few women holding sarees as screens/ lucky ones get to the hospital, thankfully in a few minutes the child is born. The unlucky ones get a few hassled doctors and nurses walking in and out of the labour ward or operating theatre giving wierd explanations to the anxious family!!! and the mother cries happy tears when she holds the baby in the end!!! RIDICULOUS!!
Dont know where that came to get back on track!!
In reality, when one goes through child birth we realise a few things. One, does not happen fast to most people, especially if one has a normal delivery...takes its own time. Two, the mother is not crying happy tears, its tears of relief and exhaustion!!
How one little teeny new person in your life can affect, alter and/or augment; perspectives, priorities, people, patience, protectiveness is ...hmmm...peculiar?
The days flow into nights and back into days...and you are in a dimension of your and your child. Amidst the endless stream of visitors giving you repeated advice, irritation, sleeplessness, constant crying(the baby ofcourse!) and exhaustion there comes that one day when they look back right at you, eye to eye, in recognition, a knowing smile.."i know you, you are my mom"...the feeling needs to be felt to be understood.
Those moments when the screaming child calms down at your touch, responds to your voice, sleeps peacefully curled up next to you... with those simple moments of recognition and absolute trust, things begin to fall in place.
At the end of three months, your testing phase is know and understand their every move, expression, feeling and want; and life seems to begin to settle into a routine(that is going to last for the rest of our lives, changing now and then). Life seems to be all about them. Everything and everyone else dissolves into the background. They are the centre of the universe, and all else revolves around them. We anticipate their every want, waking up in the middle of the night to check on them, even though they may have just turned over in their sleep.
My daughter is more than a year old now..she has brought out feelings in me that i never knew even existed. Is that what is mother's love? I dont know how to describe it; but that feeling of pride when she does something new, started to walk, finally began to look a bit like me :); the pain that i shared when she fell and hurt herself or when she got a shot or she fell sick; the anger and protectiveness i felt when someone compared her to another kid!!(it does sound irrational), and that small sinking feeling as i realise she is growing up and is becoming independant as she grows older.
As for my daughter : SHE IS MINE. Anyone so much as bat an evil eyelid in her direction(not even essentially at her) I will not hesitate to hurt, wound, injure, bruise, offend, hit, punch, kick or do whatever it takes to protect her!! Hmmm..mother's instinct?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


The Andromeda** Centre for Inter Galactic Studies
2.5 million light-years (2.4×1019 km) from Earth
Department of Planetary Studies
Topic: Homosapiens : A study of emotional, attitudinal, and behavioral response patterns
Duration: A lifetime of a single specimen (human)
The host : currently 36 years old, female.
I have inhabited the above host for the past 36 human years studying and observing, and am documenting my observation and findings, this being my first report.  As I am unable to influence or alter the behavior of the host(we are a very peaceful species), I have had to only observe and was unable modify or simulate situations for the study.
This is not the first time our species have tried to study the humans. After several unsuccessful attempts by different entities, I have stepped in to try. Since there are no previous studies to base my study upon, especially regarding human behaviour, I have decided to apply theories that the humans themselves have developed.
The Reports, I plan to submit under 3 different heads :
1. What they say
2. On a personal note
3. I just dont get it
Humans are like what they call "snow flakes" on earth. No two are alike. Their physical make up is also similar and not the same. Evidently each one has a different DNA(Deoxyribonucleic acid is a molecule that encodes the genetic instructions used in the development and functioning of all known living organisms). Thus each and every human is a different emotional being. Impossible to categorise into water tight compartments. Even humans have developed theories based only on basic underlying commonalities.
On that note, I begin.....
*perspicuity : clarity;plebian : native
**The Andromeda Galaxy is the nearest spiral galaxy to our Milky Way galaxy, but not the closest galaxy
overall. It gets its name from the area of the sky in which it appears, the constellation of Andromeda, which was named after the mythological princess AndromedaThe Andromeda Galaxy is the largest galaxy of the Local Group, which also contains the Milky Way, the Triangulum Galaxy, and about 30 other smaller

Monday, April 8, 2013


lie n.
1.  A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2.  Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.
3.  To present false information with the intention of deceiving.
4.  To convey a false image or impression: Appearances often lie.
Synonyms:  lie, equivocate, fib, palter, prevaricate
I honestly admit I lie sometimes. I do believe everyone has lied at some point in time. And I just probably offended all those nice people who are spending some of their time reading my blog.
So..what is a lie? anything we state, that we know is not the truth, is a lie. simple? But does only verbal statement constitute a lie? what about actions and behavior? What if the intention of the lie was not to hurt the other person? What if the outcome of the lie was good? are there good lies and bad lies?
ha...a lie is a lie. its the opposite of the truth.
If a person behaves in one way in front of another person and then changes behaviour the minute he/she leaves...isnt that a lie?
If a person says something to one person and says the exact opposite to another regarding the same situation, with or without the intention of affecting the outcome of the situation...isnt that a lie?
Being a hypocrite is also a lie..treating some people and one way and not applying the same rules to another,...isnt that a lie?
To make statements without analysing or thinking of its impact, which may sound logical or truthful to the person who is saying it, but may affect the person whom it is about, where the statement is far from the truth...what about that?
What is far worse than all this...people who believe in the lies and the behavior of one person, not giving the other person the benefit of doubt, just because of the blind faith they have in the former.  Sadly the effect of the lie cascades down to other people and their relationships!!
The worst of all are the people who put up and live with the lies and dont have the guts to face and expose them!!!
We do hide stuff from the people we love so we dont hurt them. But keeping the truth from another is also a it not? so lies can have good outcomes too? If it can bring happiness or prevent something bad from happening, why not?
I guess we all have to live with the lies. Evidently, all this talk about "a lie is a lie", is what its good for..."talk". 
In the end...we let things that happen happen, we let what affects us affect us, we are responsible for how people treat us. So i guess we have to live life with the people who love you and we love, people who are genuine and let the rest be. They dont matter.

IN A NUTSHELL : The life of Pi

“The reason death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessity; it's envy. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can.” - Yann Martel, Life of Pi
Life of Pi, interesting book, followed by quite a good adaptation of it as a movie.  PI, religious beliefs, Richard parker, endurance and survival forms the main content of the story; the interpretation left to the reader at the end.
Piscine Molitor "Pi" Patel's father owns and runs a zoo, where he watches and learns the ways of the wild and other animals. He finds himself drawn towards three different religions and believes they are just different ways of loving god, and that's exactly what he wants to do, "love god".
The actual story though, starts when Pi's family sells the zoo and shifts to Canada. The Japanese cargo ship aboard which Pi's family and the animals travel, sinks in the Pacific ocean. He loses his family in the ship wreck and ends up on a lifeboat along with a hyena, a zebra with a broken leg, an orangutan and his nemesis, "Richard Parker", the bengal tiger.  The rest of the story is about how he survives 227 days in the sea with a tiger.
It is amazing to see how a person can adapt to survive. Pi is a vegetarian who eventually survives on raw fish, turtle blood and even algae. The book does provide a graphic description of the entire ordeal.
Towards the end of the book, Pi explains his story to the Japanese officials who try to find out how the ship sank. They do not believe the animal story, so Pi changes the story and tells them a new one where the people on the lifeboat are the cook, a sailor with a broken leg, his mother and himself.
In comparison, we can understand that the cook is the hyena, the sailor is the zebra, his mother the orangutan and himself Richard Parker.  Richard Parker, here, is personified as "fear of death".  Its that fear that keeps him alive. And he has to keep that fear alive, that is, Richard Parker alive to survive the ordeal, and he does. 
“I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always ... so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.” -Yann Martel, Life of Pi
Do read the book atleast once..for it has some really good quotes and lots of other gyaan. If you dont have the habit or the time to read the book, do watch the movie. It has some amazing visual effects and ofcourse, the tiger is brilliant!! Worth a read, worth watching.